Amsterdam

I am writing to let all know that I have a blog for my trip through Europe with my mother, Jessa (sister) and family!

http://1europa.travellerspoint.com/

I have been ill so many times since I've been here. It's almost a joke, that perhaps I am a hypochondriac. But the days are longer now. Last night, it was almost 10:30 with light out, and this morning I awoke at six and the day was already started. So, the nice thing is the sun is my company as I lay in bed trying to recover.

I have added a new poem to my poetry blog: http://wfmmw.blogspot.com/

I am proud of my research findings and my writing, thus far. Only, I must write more and more as the deadline is approaching. Everything is starting to speed up, as the time approaches for me to leave. I grow melancholy for my adventure ending, for leaving my love behind, and for separating myself from my bicycle. The romantic element of this city is contained in all the bicycles, running around and owning the road. You can even see couples holding hands while they ride down the bike paths.

We have been to so many different clubs and seen so many DJs. This country is saturated with good techno and good music. Here are some nightlife shots:

I am grateful for all these nights, as dancing my soul is the most important form of release and expression I have. And I am grateful to have the choice.

Recently I was upset and discussing with my mother about what I should do: should I stay with Christiaan and work. Spending more time in the night life and joy of the bike city? Or should I move back and work at home, save money and try to get a teaching creditial or certificate of some sort...? And my mom pointed out, how lucky I was to be making such a decision. She's right, of course.

I am grateful for:

music
dancing (shoes and health)
computer and internet access
education
my mother
my lover
clean water from the faucets
all my friends that write me from different parts of the states
people who inspire me
my eye sight, my ability to hear and speak
my youth
being alive, now and here
my bike
the good weather
our humanity, that we share
the universe to keep us guessing
all the same stories and puzzles that still amaze us
humor

So, I am watching a little girl for extra money. She is 20 months old, and she's really cute. She has a lot of words and can make many of the sounds that animals make. Her name is Hariette. This is her in a bow:

I take care of her either in the morning or in the afternoon, for three hours at a time. She is really cute, did I mention that? She can even make the pirate sound:

We go to the playground or to the library. At the library, she likes to jump around and toss books. She likes to hide in the thick curtains.
At the playground she enjoys going up the ladder and sliding down. She plays with the sand a bit. It seems like more and more she is exerting herself as an individual who wants to do what she pleases.

Currently, I am trying to teach her the word "tie," because she has a little book with a dog wearing a tie and so she sort of knows the word. Next week I am going to wear a tie to her house to show her!

She likes to play with playdo:

Some other news:
Our French neighbors have moved away. They still live in our litte student city, but not next to us
We had a last dinner at their place:

We still see eachother about once or twice a week as we all enjoy playing darts and poker. My gaming abilities go in and out. for a while I was really getting good at poker (texas hold'em) and darts. Lately, I loose often. Anyway, the French guy, named Fred (he's on the right of the top picture), is obsessed with games. He's actually doing a PhD dissertation on the relationship between juggling and eye movements! And his girlfriend, Aurelie (she's on the right in the second picture) , is too. We play games with them at their place or down at the Uilenstede bar. Aurelie and I go food shoping together. We do laundry sometimes and talk about life. It's a bit hard because of our language barrier, but her English is getting better all the time.

As for the other character in these pictures, his name is Raaz. He's a self destructive, alcoholic British guy. I am tired, mostly, when I interact with him. I keep waiting for him to be real around me. But he hides behind beer and TV. He's getting a PhD in Physics... go figure.

Finally, the weather is changing. Spring is here. It's still cold some of the time, like today, but for the most part it's sunny.

I have been sick for a while, again. This has been an all winter phenomenon, and irritating too. I have lost precious weekends in bed early, and also weekdays doing nothing but TV watching and reading.

I have done plenty of reading and now I need to get to the writing...

This morning the day is beautiful. I am making some coffee and an scrambled egg breakfast that I will eat with my fresh and delicious corn, tortillas! *Thanks MOM!!* I am then biking to the center. I am uploading Beethoven's 9th symphony onto my MP3 Player and will be set to go. I am going to spend time with the child I am going to be babysitting. Her name is Harriett and she is 20 months old.

Last night I got many ideas, for my thesis, for a play I am writing and for a Science Fiction I am writing. I was filled with coffee and good thoughts, and I think the weather also had something to do with it

This is the last week so I am making a final push to write, read and interview. I have interviewed many women and I will begin to post some of the transcriptions here, so you can all read what these women are saying. As this is the last week, everyone who was away on fieldwork is coming home this weekend! It is exciting, as I have missed some of them a lot. I can't wait to hear of their adventures and for them to make fun of me, as I know they will, for this mild, mild winter.

Time passes by so quickly.

News update: I wrote a small journal entry that I would like to share about the weather… The weather has been changing, quickly for about a week. Many Dutch people have commented on the weather and how mild it was for this time of year but that drastically changed with a terrible windstorm. Then the lakes started to freeze over and people began to wear their earmuffs and gloves. It’s really nice to be outside and freezing your butt off, then come into the warmth of your home and feel cozy.

Here’s the journal entry:

The rain, ain’t nothing… it’s the bloody wind. My trusty umbrella has failed, again, not because of manufacture defect or because of bad luck, but because of the 80klm winds.

This flat country is windy!

Wind you can hear: Behind your ears in a high whistling moan. Right in front of you, whipping the space, and also, far away, a thunderous roar, that sounds like a God made machine. Monstrous. Wind that you can feel: Pushing bodies and my poor, expired umbrella, in what ever direction it pleases. Wind blowing leaves and debris in every direction. Wind, too, that is threatening… as all around you, small and large pieces of trees lie as proof of its ferocity. With whole trees broken at the base of the trunk, and scattered in pedestrian and automobile zones, spelling danger for the humans, and triumph for the wind. It’s a threatening wind; the bike lanes are empty from threat and humans clamor to get on trams and metros to escape this wind.

I shall name her Felicity. Today’s day is born of her. All around me in this doctors office, people are whispering her name. The humans tell tales of averted, unpleasant encounters. They warn each other of her wrath. “Do not ride your bike, today.” And “Be careful going home.” She strikes from above in paradoxal directions and she’s relentless uncaring of our manmade buildings and dykes, and levies. Her dance with the rain is very heavy and uncanny. The rain will stop and start as it pleases but suddenly, it is Felicity who is commanding the rains direction and unruliness.

On the way to the doctor’s office I met a neighbor who had opted not to ride his bike. Our university is not that far away, and yet Felicity is waiting for any small chance to unleash disaster. Felicity would have his name written on her lips, and my name, and everyone else’s name who ventures outside their house. My neighbor tells me that by 6 o’clock tonight the winds will pick up to 150klm! Good thing my 4 o’clock appointment was cancelled, as Felicity might have decided to drop a tree on my foot or my hipbone.

After my appointment, when I am back in the comfort of my home, I look through this written short memoir of Felicity’s lavishness, and I quickly text a friend to warn her of the wind forecast. Better get home on your bike now, before Felicity takes over this night. Typing now, I hear the moans outside, and pray, no human, was stupid enough to think, they could battle Felicity in this dance. And, I type with a smile on my face. Today was a very good day. I wrote a lot. I read, some. Did laundry. Went to the doctor’s escaped Felicity’s grasp, and experienced an Amsterdam I did not know existed. I am starting to love this place, I really am.

Anyway, when I go out, I wear three layers on top, long john bottoms and two pairs of socks. This might seem obsessive but it makes living hear very pleasant because I actually enjoy leaving the house. I am wearing gloves, too. In this picture I have my gloves on and my new earmuffs that I won during a pokeno night at the American Women’s Club (AWC).

Speaking of which, I have been going to pokeno since September. It’s a once a month adventure into middle to upper class suburbia dreamscapes. These ladies are very funny. Each one is a distinct character. Most of them are housewives, so they take tea together and trade secrets, gossip, along with recipes. When I am there I can’t help thinking of my favorite “Desperate housewives” scenes. I like being around people who speak the same way I do, but it also gets me down because some of the women are so conservative, well it reminds me of some of the things I dislike about the USA. Being in AWC has given me networking possibilities, however, and I am grateful for that. It is nice being about to talk with expats about life in the Netherlands. It makes the changing weather, for instance, easier to deal with.

Other news: I have been sabotaged twice since new years… well actually the first was on New Years and the second, last night. First, on new years my bike was damaged beyond repair. I rode it to a friend’s house and then went upstairs for drinks. After midnight, we were all going to ride bikes to a nearby party. When I came downstairs I discovered that the bike’s gear had been wrenched in a 180-degree direction! I mean, wrenched too, because it could not have been accomplished with human hands. Had to be done with a tool or with a firecracker! Later the anger started to set in, because I had expected my bike to be stolen, as all people say of the Netherlands, not ruined for any apparent reason! I had to ride on the back of my friends bike… while we were at the party, I was sure someone was going to take the bike and sell it. As I rationalized the culprits’ actions I thought their intention was to steal it later in the night. But, when we returned it was still there! So, I can sell the bike, but not for much, and I cannot fix it because it would cost more than the bike is worth. At any rate, I am very happy with my new bike. It’s an “omafiets” which means grandmother bike. It is a lot more comfortable and I have already taken her for a long bike ride.

The second sabotage occurred last night. Christiaan and I went out to a nightclub called Studio 80. We had a good time dancing and watching the crowd, although this club is always so incredibly packed that it can distract from the enjoyment. Towards the end of the night I took my hair down out of it’s fixed position (last night was one of the only nights that I took the time to make my hair very pretty). Anyway, I was feeling my hair and just as I got to the bottom of one part, I felt a piece of gum! And I thought, “what the F*%@!” Terrible, really, I felt like I was in third grade or something. Funny, though. At least the gum wasn’t in the front or in some place that it would force me to cut my hair very short. Then again, I am waiting for an excuse to cut my hair off, so maybe next time, I’ll be luckier.

All of these adventures are in tandem with the sweet whisper of airplanes flying low over my building… and the delicate cries of the tramlines whistling back and forth. I have been reading a book on literary theory, and it’s funny, the author compares literature to weeds in the sense that it is the society, itself, that decides what is literature or not. I agree. I am reading “Literary Theory” and also a book of short feminist Sci Fi. I am also reading a lot of other articles for my research.

The research is going well. I did my first interview last Wednesday and I have another one this coming Wednesday. I have contacted a handful of female DJs who have all responded well. I think the research is going to be fun and much information and narratives will come from it. This makes me very happy! I am most in love with the anthropology that is interested in narratives. In all this research, read, eat, sleep, and weather, I have found that I miss theatre and action very much. So, I am working on a monologue that I post soon. And I have advertised myself as an acting coach! I realized there may be some people who want to pursue an acting career and they may want to work on a monologue with a coach. I have not received any responses but the advertisement has only been up for a day, so crossing my fingers. Connecting with people through a story telling project or what most people call acting, will be very rewarding, and hopefully pay well too.

All of these adventures are finally sinking in as what they really are: living here. I mean, I was still shell shocked and drunk from arriving, and unable to fully appreciate what was going on around me; not actually enjoying every second. It took the weather change for my to realize how much I like it here!

“So since there’s not place to go, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.”

(Oh, and I am starting singing lessons!!)